Back Home in TEXAS!

Recently, I went home to the great state of TEXAS! I went home to face my personal demons of dealing with my mom's estate.  For those of you close to me you know how torn I was about going home. I felt that going home to deal with her estate was closing the door on my mom and everything about her. I can now testify that it didn't.  I am very thankful for my husband, my family, and my friends (both in TX and Hawaii) for the support and love I needed to get through this. 

It was so good to be back in my mom's house, to see everything about her and most importantly to feel her presence. I have taken the long road to finally grieve for her as I tried to be the pillar for my family and had to deal with some very troubling times this time last year during DH's deployment and I am finally dealing with the depression I had built up from all of those events. 

Depression can be a sneaky rascal and don't ever be ashamed to reach out to someone, Lord knows I finally did and thank goodness MY GREAT husband told me to go home and see my family and be where my mom once was. I love him so much for knowing what to do and his sacrifice for me.  He has done so much for my family and myself, we are so blessed to have him.

This trip was so special as I do not know when I will be back in Texas. I got to see my BELOVED SEASHELL! Oh that little girl is now a big girl! She is nearing her preteen years and I just can't believe how tall and smart she is. She makes me so proud.  She was surprised to see me as no one told her I was in town.  I was her belated birthday surprise, I hid in a box and she opened it up to find me in it and she was in shock.  She didn't know whether to cry or smile and she just reached out to touch me to make sure that I was real. I love my Seashell.

It was like old times with my brothers and sisters and we just hung out and I made dinner a few times and like I said, it was just like I had never left.  Shopping with Lulu was a blast we would laugh and sometimes cry because we were laughing so hard!

I miss Texas! I got to drive my old Honda Civic, gas was $1.89 back in first weeks of November, they have Mrs. Baird's bread, Best Maid pickles, Whataburger, Tex-Mex food, doughnut shops, Chick-fila. The list goes on! 

I am really proud of my siblings and how things how progressed since my departure. Lulu is nearly the completion of her junior year in college, Mark is doing well and keeping up with the sports, Jason is doing great at work and keeping the house up, Pancho is doing great at work and just moved into a new home. Seashell is doing great in school and will be competing in a spelling bee. WOW!  I am a proud sister!

I am learning that life is so complex at times but even in the simplest of times love is all that you need.

It is so good to be loved. It is even better to share love with others.

Until next time, I love you all.

-Jai